Lost in Translation

Or maybe better titled: Lost in Beijing.

I know no one back home will enjoy this post, but it ended well so it deserves a post.
Ysabelle and I decided to go to church this morning - to a church for foreigners - where you have to present a passport because Chinese citizens are not allowed to enter (which is a fun topic for another post). Ysabelle had gone last week, and we had directions from another intern who also went last week, so we thought "hey, this will be fine." The church is far away - an hour and a half by bus - and involved two different buses. But we made it and didn't get lost! The service was good - and in Chinese and English which was interesting.
So then we left. We got on the first bus with no problems. Got off the first bus with no problems. Then we had lunch in an awesome bakery ("Sophie's Bakery"). Then we got on ---- the wrong bus. We had made it far back already and were maybe a little over half-way back to our stop... and then the bus makes a right turn when we should have just been continuing straight down the highway. Ysabelle and I just looked at each other in panic. And it didn't help that the gawking Chinese people on the bus could sense our panic.
Looking out the window I saw signs for the airport so I assumed thats where we were headed. Which I thought, might turn out well because our complex isn't too far from the airport and we could just get a taxi.

Right? no way,

"Welcome to China!"

After maybe 20 minutes of being utterly confused about what to do I approached the money collector on the bus (all Chinese buses have a driver and another worker who collects money and hands out tickets if you don't have a permanent pass). I told her where we were going and asked if this bus went there. And I was met with a torrent of Chinese. "No! I'm a foreigner, as everyone on your bus knows, I speak really bad Chinese!" But that didn't matter. I understood parts of our conversation, though she thought it was funny when I repeated that I didn't understand her. Eventually she said something like, "okay I will tell you where to get off, please sit." What else to do?
So we ended up getting off the bus in the middle of Shunyi District's downtown - which was good in that Shunyi District IS where we live. However, about 20 minutes away. Simple enough?

"Welcome to China."

I tried asking a few bus drivers if they were going to our stop, and they either said a definate "bu dao" (translation: NO), or said something in rapid-fire Chinese while also giving me the universal head shake.
So we tried looking for a taxi. But to no luck, downtown Shunyi has no taxis apparently - only illegal taxis who will take you to where you want to go - and then charge whatever they want. And I didn't feel I had enough Chinese to even relay much information.
After many phone calls and attempts to get a hold of someone in China Care who might find it within their hearts to save two lost waiguoren (Foreigners), all of which did NOT work, we had no idea what to do. Time: about two hours lost in downtown Shunyi.
I was on the phone with another intern trying to decide what to do, when a Chinese woman (note: Chinese people are very good at sighting a lost waiguoren - beware) came up to us and spoke Chinese. I waved her away because 1. I didn't feel like speaking dreadful Chinese, and 2. I'm wary of scams against waiguoren in China.
BUT this fabulous woman comes back and now she speaks ENGLISH! (note: Ysabelle and I LOVE ENGLISH).
She says, "oh you are lost? do you need help?"
Me: "Yes, we are going to Hou Shen Ying... but got lost" (another note: that name is hard to say)
I whipped out our address (which was in Chinese characters!) and she said "oh this is so detailed!" and circled the name of our bus stop (who knew that was on there! :( ) And she said, "I will help you get on the right bus" So I agreed because I figured, not many scams could go on in a government operated bus (its China, right?). So she got us on the right bus and I showed the driver (siji!) and he said, "yes we stop here!" HALLELUJAH! :D The nice, awesome, fabulous, Chinese woman got off after a few stops while we stayed on, happy in the fact that we were now on our way.
And boy was it ever exciting to get off the bus at the right stop and realize that we just had to walk home.
So all in all: a bad, bad, bad day in Beijing, but a helpful person basically saved us, and now I'm safe.

In conclusion: I love English.